today last day le. tomorrow will be a fresh new year for us. understood each other well though,despite the 'fights' we had. can't wait for tomorrow.. how long would happiness last for us? thats the question that i'm pondering now.. afraid that it might not even last.. still,hope to have a happy life with you ahead:D i wonder what i'd do if i got terribly upset over you again.. lets be happy from now on k? lets try! iloveyoubaby<3 you must post also hor. this shall be our blog from now on.. just pour everything that is disturbing you here next time k? baby,i'm sorry.. for everything:'( still,iloveyou<3 good night and HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!! hope we'll stay together forever:D sleep tight...smooch xD loveyou!

♥ 11:36 PM

today suck. i hate you!! goodbye.. dont bother looking me up again..and i wonder why i worked so hard for..wasting my life on things that just make me unhappy..bye

♥ 6:28 PM

its been sometime now... actually i've got nothing to say. sigh.. things still went back to the it was. i just realised just now that i was happy to be with you and just play normally..but the first moment i saw you today,i really just wanted to run away.those unhappy memories suddenly went back. was i wrong to drag you back into my life again when you really didnt want me last time? you clearly said you only love him. i'm so stupid to have kissed you in the first place. my first kiss was on you and you treat it as if it was nothing when you already kissed two other ppl or maybe more. i really dont know whats wrong with us. i dont want this life anymore. i'm sick of it. i dont like it anymore. today you told me that your primary school friend asked you out to play.you could've just said no but you didnt. previously,when things got rough,you always asked me whether i want to break up with you and i told you i never want to. but now,i dont see any point why should we continue. i really want to say goodbye for the last time.i really want to. why wont you just let me go? why? i've asked too much of you. fine i wont anymore. in fact i wont care anymore. you lead your own life and i lead mine. i wish i could say goodbye to everything...

Labels: crying my heart out while i said this... :(

♥ 1:08 AM

Emo-ing in progress...


Arshad: 'Come on. SLAP ME!'
Cheryl: 'YES I WILL!'

Arshad: 'Bleah! Slap me if you can!'
Cheryl: 'HERE I COME!'

♥ 8:13 PM

you've been asking me to forgive you the whole day. why should i? why are you wasting your time? not your fault what. its mine. since you like confiding in ppl,i checked on a thing of the past. i went to a friend's blog. one whom you were very close to at that point of time. from what i've read,i can feel that he likes you and very much wanted to take you away. i still remembered the scene where we were at mac. both of you were separated by someone but still both of you were meddling with your phones. consecutively,meaning one look and send a msg and put down after that,then the other picks up the phone and replied. it was too obvious. you still wanted him to follow you to buy something when i was there. it was certain that you wanted to talk to him one on one. still remembered how you treated me during the obog concert night. i wasnt feeling well but you left me. how i wish i could've died today. i dont feel happy at all.

friends betrayal,shooted at for no reason,ppl wanting to kill me,wanting me to die( esp. my mum),all the teachers blaming me.

Labels: crying my heart out while i said this... :(

♥ 10:18 PM

i thought today was just gonna be a day that i'd be happy,thinking of seeing you on tuesday feels like waiting for 10years.. i didnt go online for so long and you didnt tell me a few things. to you it may not mean anything but it is to me. i'm very heart broken
teachers blame me for not doing my job as a monitor,indirectly saying i dunno my priorities when i have an assistant monitor to help me but everything just get pushed to me and i get blamed. i get blamed for things i didnt do(during last pe). mom never fails to say to me when she's scolding me "you dont deserve to be in this world cause you only create trouble for me. you go die better. i dont want you". this was what she said,although they say that all mothers love their children. am i even suppoesed to be treated this way? one more thing that really is killing me.

Band. its my first time this year to be performing for a full concert. i mean its really tiring and never experienced it. even during combined,i always wonder how i'd make it through the concert. i could feel tired even after the first piece. and we have more than 5 pieces.i always wonder should i invite my primary classmates/schoolmates. cause i know that i wont make it and i wanna drop out. although it may be my last concert and last chance to perform while in secondary school,i'm willing to give it all up cause i know i'd only make the band go bad. being an SL isn't easy. one doesnt like practice with metronome and timing isn't good,one dares using handphone during combined with mr lim,one keeps talking. i dunno what i can do to change them. i've done my best. yet,mr lim always look at me whenever MY SECTION made mistakes. he scolds my section means i didnt do a good job keeping everything together. he says he want to change pieces so that my section could cope. but of course,i didnt want cause that would be selfish for the band. people always indirectly scold me but they dunno how much impact they've made on me,my feelings,my life.

i just want to give everything up. even my love,the person i trusted keep things from me. what more can i do. i think i've decided. i wanna back out from the concert and maybe quit band. just concentrate on studies. music i can learn when i'm older,when i've money and steady income. i just dont get why i get blamed or backstabbed many times,by friends or even loved ones.. goodbye current life..

Labels: crying my heart out while i said this... :(

♥ 11:55 AM

B is sick & i'm sick too!
I think it's cause i drank the water he drank (my bottle xD).
We both have fever! Now we both have very good reason for not being able to see each other.
After we both recover, i want go watch G-FORCE with b! xD
Get well soon b.

iloveyou;

Posted by your sweetheart <3

♥ 9:33 PM